What do I regret?

Day 7 of the Vulnerability Challenge: What do I regret?

Oprah Winfrey says that this definition of forgiveness changed her life:

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different.

Oprah Winfrey

It changed mine too. I heard it well over ten years ago and ever since then I’ve tried to think of regret as one of the options for things you can do with the past.

I’ve definitely harboured resentment and frustration that it takes some time to process but I haven’t regretted anything because the infinite creativity of our minds allows us to keep playing with our history until it makes sense.

So now, instead of regretting any of my (admittedly sometimes questionable) decisions, I try to forgive myself because forgiveness is the antidote to regret. I try to see how I was doing the best I could, with what I had and where I was (adapted from the Theodore Roosevelt quote).

As Brené Brown says, we’re always just doing the best we can. It’s not always good enough. It’s often a hot mess. But it’s our ‘not good enough’ and our mess and even when it feels really, really bad, I want to believe that one day, if I let it, it will make sense.

I hope 2018 has been good to you.

With love,


The definition of forgiveness that changed Oprah’s life

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