One of my favourite books, The Misfit Economy, “examines the teeming genius of the underground”. This appeals to my fascination with renegade groups and my unreasonable conviction that I’m part pirate (it’s even written on my business card). But the real reason I love this book is because I’m attracted to the kind of camaraderie and belonging that isn’t ruled by nice, normal etiquette.
Maybe because we’re from about 12 different countries or maybe because my grandma was a formidable matriarch who produced 2 generations of formidable matriarchs, my family sometimes feels like the pirates and hackers who don’t operate according to social convention. They obey something more binding… rules that are so deeply ingrained that you can feel them… a code of honour.
Investment 3: Your Code of HONOUR
When you feel proud or at peace, knowing the principles that you’ve set for yourself to live by helps you realise why: you probably upheld the code. When you feel disappointed in yourself, you might realise it’s because you did something against your code and it feels bad because that’s not ok with you.
So I sit down to channel my innerJason Bourne and try to figure out what my own personal honour code is. It’s going to be badass. It’s going to have the same ferocity that my grandma and mother and aunty instilled in us. It’s going to feel like a roar!
Come on, brain. Think! Give me something awe inspiring… imposing… provocative!
Tell the truth.
Erm. Ok. Is that it? After a long silence, I realise JB has left the building and that’s all I’m getting. Yep, that’s it. My entire honour code is 3 words long: tell the truth (yawn… boring… sorry everyone).
Truth sounds too philosophical… abstract… I hate abstract.
Except that I realise this single principle does help to explain the times I’ve felt at peace and the times I’ve felt disappointed in myself. I know I’ve written a post that feels a bit blah when I haven’t dug deep for what I really want to say. A whole day might feel a bit blah because there’s been a gap between what I do and what I say. I’ve had entire blah relationships because truth hasn’t been top of the agenda.
Oh… I get it now! Your honour code isn’t just a cool thing you say. You don’t just put it in a frame and hang it on a wall. Its value is in how it appears in your life. As the Navy SEALs say, you don’t earn it once then you’re done…
You earn your Trident every day.
(now that’s badass)
You become disconnected when you don’t live by your honour code. Not the one you inherited from your family or anyone else (no matter how much cooler their one sounds). The one you decided for yourself and earned through your own experiences.
Even though mine is only 3 words long and seems painfully simple, I still don’t earn my trident every day.
But your code isn’t about judgement and punishment. It’s about giving yourself a standard to live up to because “when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony” (Mahatma Gandhi), life rushes in, you feel alive.
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