TWO HUNDRED BLOG POSTS EVERY DAY FOR TWO HUNDRED DAYS!!!
Sorry for shouting… I NEVER do that. But this is the 200th day that I’ve posted EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!
I realise this only comes in third or fourth behind world peace and the eradication of poverty but stay with me for a minute. 200 days ago the world was a different place. There are things you know now that you didn’t know then. There are experiences you’ve had that you hadn’t had then. And hopefully there are things you wanted to do that you’ve done now.
For me, it was proving to myself that I could write stuff, put it online and let it go instead of spending another 6 months of my life listening to the inner perfectionist that simultaneously says, “if you do this, it’ll rock the universe!” and “if you write stuff and share it, you’ll be exposed as a complete fraud and everyone will hate you forever and ever.”
Perfectionism is a meany.
So in this final daily post (did I mention I’ve hit my target of TWO HUNDRED posts in TWO HUNDRED days??!), here’s what I’ve learnt about what happens when you just do stuff instead of trying to ‘get it right’:
- You still try to get it right. No matter how much you tell yourself it’s fine to fail, you still want every post you write to be the best post the world (and Oprah) has ever seen.
- You will love, hate and feel intimidated by the fact that anyone reads, likes or follows your posts. Your inner 5 year old will feel validated and reassured. And at the same time, your inner panic monster will fixate on not knowing what to write about and who to write it for and whether it’s ok to say certain things. You basically feel like an expert and an idiot at exactly the same time.
- You become used to mental fog and chaos. And sometimes, when you’re in the middle of a huge cloud of confusion and doubt, you learn to stop feeling like you’re going to die there.
- You will regularly think that what you’re doing is a huge waste of time.
- You will feel ok with the fact that what you’re doing probably is indeed a huge waste of time.
- You will have fun.
- You will stop seeing ‘I don’t know what to do/say/think/feel’ as a sign of mortal danger, abject stupidity, imminent depression. And instead, by showing up every day, you’ll see that your worst fear is true: you’re a bit of a mess. But guess what? We’re all messes and it’s fine.
- You’ll realise that when you regularly take just a little bit of time away from Instagram, Netflix, Facebook, overwork, trying to impress people, you stop wondering how you’ll survive another day not knowing how to make yourself feel good enough and instead just feel good enough.
- You’ll realise that publicly embarrassing yourself isn’t the worst thing in the world… people really don’t care too much. They’ve got their own $@£t to deal with
- You’ll realise that you’re bigger than the doubts and fears that come up when you create something from nothing and see that you’re not the person you want other people to think you are but the infinitely more flawed and interesting person you’ve been becoming all your life.
When it hasn’t taunted, teased and terrified me, this blog has been an awesome playmate. And it’s been really nice that you’ve been reading it.
What a miracle to a weird, belligerent introvert like me that over 150 people from dozens of different countries (some of which I’ve never been to) have read some of these posts (seriously… why weren’t you watching Netflix?!!).
Of the many reasons I embarked on this project, one was practice for a childhood dream that I’ve been running away from my whole adult life. And thanks to the daily grind of this blog, that dream of writing a book has finally caught me so that’s one of the things I’ll be doing every day instead.
I’m excited to be starting a new adventure and sadder than I expected to be leaving this one behind. It’s taught me more than I could’ve imagined. If you’ve ever wanted to do it, do it!
A heartfelt thank you for joining me on this journey. Sending you all the luck in this abundant, beautiful world on yours.
With great love,
Ps this probably isn’t the end… I’m being melodramatic. I’ll sneak a post in now and again. Ok… I’m really going now…